Alone............

I am an only child. My mother had two definite pregnancies after me, but both sweet baby girls didn't make it, one when I was four and the other when I was sixteen...........a sad thing for two people who were good parents and would have loved other children. Me, well I will never know what kind of sister I would have made; I do know that I would have learned to defend myself better........I don't do that well at all............well, if it's about my children or grandchildren, stand back and duck.......I come out full blast..........sometimes not rationally at all...........but full blast.........for me, well I just seem to take it..........maybe that is something that I should add to my list of things to accomplish or "do".......will think about that.

The other day my daughter had taken the day off, so I could go and get my teeth "deep" cleaned.........trust me, it doesn't hurt, but it does hurt the pocketbook............big time.........so she and my son-in-law took the boys to Six Flags Fiesta here...........that left me with the whole day alone..........hmmmm........practical or foolish..........I chose foolish. I went to a movie by myself..........Henry Poole was Here......definitely a chick flick, and won't win any Oscar nominations, but I did enjoy it........it had some good chuckles and lots of little nudges of "hey I feel like that sometime too" type of thing.........after that I went to TJ Maxx and found some sheets.............now thank goodness I have two sets for my bed and can rotate..........I also cruised the Halloween aisles and found somethings that I may go back and indulge in..........can't wait to long tho', as they do go fast. There was a couple in there........they were having so much fun.......he would pick something up and suggest where they could put it, then she would do the same........it was nice to watch them. I then ambled over to Borders........I sat down in the jewelry making aisle and picked out some books that I wanted to really really look at closely, so I could make a "good" decision before purchasing..........so often I just glance and then disappointed when I get home..........so I gathered them up and sat down in a chair in one of the sections and looked and pondered and looked some more...........chose two and felt so comfortable with making these choices. It was a nice day.........I was alone and that part didn't bother me..........oh I would have much rather spent it with someone, male of female, but since that wasn't going to happen, I took my own company and enjoyed that. After my divorce, I found that I liked being me..........I had always been someones daughter, wife, mother...........all of a sudden I was me.........good, bad or indifferent............I had to learn to like this person, or change what I didn't like.........still working on that part of it, guess I always will be...........but for those of you that have never been "alone" if you are able to do it, even for a day.......try it............actually one day isn't a good time period, because the first few times you flounder..........most people can't even imagine going to a restaurant and eating alone...........I still bring a book with me............but I also people watch and think up scenarios and stories about those people surrounding me...........don't give up after doing it once.......try it again........shopping by yourself is a whole different experience, as is movie watching.........eating in a restaurant.........now I have never gone on a vacation by myself......egads I would be lost forever, huh?...............alone, not something that I want to be forever, but once in awhile it's nice..........